| Why Japanese TV Sucks |
 |
 |
 |
| Sunday, 31 May 2009 21:32 | ||||||||||||
|
If you're in America right now, I'm really jealous of your horn of plenty that is American TV. I took my home country's TV for granted, and now I realize how good I really had it. The USA makes the best freakin' TV shows in the world, and to quote the most awesome guy in the universe Joe Donatelli, "right now is the Golden Era of Television." I soon realized shortly after moving to Japan that Japanese TV sucks ass. Let me explain the primary reasons... Japanese TV producers are either given no money to make a decent show or they just don't care. Whatever the reason, they spend next to nothing on producing crappy TV entertainment, and it shows. I spend more on my own YouTube videos than they do on their TV shows. Many shows fall into 1 or more of the following 4 categories:
Stage Acting Aspiring Japanese actors and actresses are obviously trained in stage acting and not TV acting. Stage acting is meant to be big and exaggerated so that audience members in the back of the theater can see, hear, and appreciate the stage action. TV acting should be far more subtle because the camera puts the audience in close proximity to the players. Over-acting is unnecessary. Watch an American TV show from the 1950s, and you'll see plenty of stage acting. Fortunately, we matured out of it. Japan hasn't yet. Most Japanese actors and actresses tragically overact. It's so obnoxious that any shred of entertainment value remaining drips directly from the abysmal performance. It's like watching bad karaoke. It's so bad it's entertaining (for the first 3 minutes). Always Dubbing, Never Subtitling When they do show an American movie, they most often dub it in Japanese as opposed to subtitle it. So obnoxious. Every Hollywood blockbuster is instantly transformed into a cheezy 1970s kung fu movie. I wanna hear Jessica Alba's sexy voice, dammit! Johnny's Boys The largest and most famous talent agency in Japan specializes in boy bands. After paying their dues as hot pants-clad, pretty-boy singers, these boys inevitably end up being the next generation of actors, announcers, and commentators on TV. Imagine Hanson reading your daily news to you. Imagine the New Kids on the Block commentating on Obama's administration. Imagine Marky Mark in big Hollywood movies. Oh, wait...that actually happened. Well, it's still freakin' obnoxious--kinda like the way I keep over-using the word "freakin'." What's Up With All the Transvestites? Japanese must love transvestites because they're all over the TV. "Whoa! That chick is hot...oh wait...that's a man...dammit...got me again." Where transvestites in the US often fulfill a "circus freak" role; those in Japan enjoy "standard" entertainment jobs as announcers, comedians, and commentators. One is even featured on a commercial for women's leg-shaving gel. Yeah, if I were a woman, that would be my brand of choice. Just as Jewish people rule the American entertainment industry, gay people must rule the Japanese one. I gotta remember to wear a black muscle shirt to my next audition. Conclusion This is where you tell me, "Hey David! If Japanese TV sucks so much ass, then don't watch it!" I won't. Luckily, I recently implemented an XBMC PC loaded with the "Navi-X" python script. You're totally cool if you know what that is. This computer dork gadget/software gathers hundreds of online video feeds so that I can enjoy as much Discovery channel, Animal Planet, and Angry Video Game Nerd as my soy sauce-marinated heart desires. Although this article was intended to rag on Japanese TV, rarely do I find that things in life are that clear-cut. Japanese TV does have 2 saving graces:
Set as favorite
Bookmark
Email this
Hits: 564 Trackback(0)
Comments (3)
Scott
said:
|
TrackBack URI for this entry
Subscribe to this comment's feed |
... You forgot to mention that the variety shows are recorded in front of a live studio audience of young girls who unleash a constant stream of "eeeeeeeeehhhhh!?" C-List celeb: "I actually enjoy eating ice cream while sitting on the couch at home." Audience: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHH?!!?!?!" I can't stand the "eeehh"'s |
David
said:
|
... True, but I figured only us foreigners living here would know what the "EEEHHHHHH!" was. Plus, I recently learned that those "eeeehhhh"s are most often pre-recorded sound clips that are mixed into the audio. Makes it all the more loud and obnoxious for ya. |
Chris
said:
|
... I'll add a couple more points to your otherwise dead-on assessment. Those people, not the beautiful models, on the 70's Vegas variety shows all have the strangest gimmicky costumes, Hard Gay, sunglasses 24 hours a day, or I'm fat and can eat a lot, need I say more. And what's up with the overlay on featured stories. You know that "picture in picture" mode they do when they cover something really emotional, so you can see the talents crying. It's like the studio is showing you the appropriate emotions every good Japanese should be having in reaction to what's on screen. As far as the eating shows go, I've always thought the quivering, smoking closeups they do of the food makes it look worse rather than more appealing. Looks like the guy is having a seizure, perhaps he's watching pokemon. And though this is related to Japanese commercials (especially beer) but what's up with the amplified gulping sounds when people drink frosty beverages...ewww.. |
Write comment
